eden...

i've always liked the idea of eden...it is the union of humanity's first experiences of beauty and heartache. other glimpses of eden in daily life seem to be just as compelling to me, such as autumn. autumn often reminds me of innocent youth and memories, while also carrying the gloom of winter's unmet difficulties. perhaps it is my own melancholic nature, but joy seems most genuine when measured against the hardships that precede it. so here's to eden and autumn, pillars of holistic emotion...

(i took the above photo this summer. there was something about this girl's expression, it was the same in every frame. made me think that she had experienced both sides of eden at an early age...it actually made me really sad.)

if you think of it...

maybe you could say a prayer for me around dinner time (stateside) this summer? tonight is my first night alone in the apartment...emily has packed up her things and will fly out tomorrow morning. there is a lot going through my head and heart these days, and i would really covet your prayers during the evening hours.

i have lived alone for one summer before, but it sure feels different being in another country and living alone. lots of tears. like crying in the shower the other day when i realized i can't get a sunburn on my back anymore because no one is around to put lotion on afterward. silly, painful thoughts like that.

the Father is gracious, abounding in mercy. His plans for me are good. Pai, please be the Joy of my heart this summer.

where lies your beauty?

During my time in Portugal, I have been contemplating the type of beauty that our western culture values. Particularly, what our society deems necessary for feminine beauty. Is it long hair, high heels, painted nails, perfectly applied make-up, a skinny body, just enough skin showing, hair color, unique clothing, jewelry?? What confuses me more is the way that we, women with intelligent minds and good intentions, spend thousands of dollars/euros attempting "to be beautiful".

"Perhaps we are being driven toward goals and objectives without always understanding why. Or we may not be aware of the real cost to our minds, our bodies, and, of course, our hearts."-Ordering Your Private World

I have been looking through some sources on concepts of beauty, and I find very little evidence that it is outward adornment that captures the essence of what it means to be feminine and beautiful. This is not to say that I think it is wrong to wear make-up or look to buy a new pair of heels. But maybe it is time for us to take a step back, to assess in which things we place our treasure. What treasures have we that hold eternal value?

I Peter 3.3-4 "Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear— but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious."

How much time do we spend seeking after a quiet spirit, one which is not shaken by the trials of each day? Is our inner space given more importance than the persona we want to project?

Some principles from Proverbs 31...A woman who fears the Lord is trustworthy, hard-working, caring, wise, strong, generous, compassionate, kind...strength and dignity are her clothing. She is a truly beautiful woman.

When Solomon spoke of his love's beauty, he spoke of her physical form, the shape of her cheeks and the tower of her neck, and her eyes as doves...captivating his heart. The Artist shaped our every part, calling our form beautiful and complete. What can be added to a masterpiece?

From Anne Morrow Lindbergh's Gift from the Sea we find: "I want first of all...to be at peace with myself. I want a singleness of eye, a purity of intention, a central core to my life." And to our dismay, "for the most part, we, who could choose simplicity, choose complication." But what if we were to transform our inner being? "Is your sea-shell house not ugly and bare? No, it is beautiful, my house. It is bare, of course, but the wind, the sun, the smell of the pines blow through its bareness."

And lastly, words written from a father to a daughter. John Quincy Adams wrote "Think of no other greatness but that of the soul, no other riches but those of the heart."

(to all my wonderful friends, who seek to cultivate the indescribable beauty growing within.)