today is one of those days when truth rains down. sometimes it feels painful, but I trust that God's purposes in the present come from a loving hand. today I am acknowledging that God has created me with a human need for love, community, encouragement, commitment, and faithfulness. and I am exceedingly thankful for those friends He has placed in my life which provide me with a sufficiency in the present. so today, february 15th, I am thanking Him for the gift of singleness. my contentment rests not in the changing of circumstances, but the acceptance of them. I am so thankful for this two year journey the Father has lead me on, what a blessing to be set apart for His growth in my heart and life.
a special thanks to my mom, who has proven to be the friend of a lifetime.
(from shore)
15.2.10
15.1.10
well who knows?
today I sat at a coffee shop about a 30 minute walk from my apartment, and I proceeded to write a list of things which I don't understand. not things like "astrophysics", but more along the lines of life's mysteries. that is probably not surprising to those of you who know me best; I am never quite contented to leave things unquestioned.
so here goes...things which I don't understand:
- why some dear friends lost their child
- why hatred and animosity reign between populations that hardly know each other
- the end of the world, and how things could possibly be resolved
- the reasons for which life is at once futile and eternally meaningful
- the workings of time
- what happened to their marriage?
- how other people see me
- that there seems to be an unlimited supply of beauty in the world
- that God saw it good to create human beings, thought we have a tremendous propensity for good and evil
- why humans can recognize God's attributes, arrange an understanding, and still be lost
- the working of God among men, how marvelous a mystery
- why we, as humans, hurt those we love most
- what leads to relational despair and bitterness
- why did you settle?
- why God created me the way He did...can I separate the pain of those I love from becoming my own?
- how we are to be set free from cycles of strife? why some people make it out and others don't
- how can we find understanding of systems and experiences that all converge to make us who we are and what we think and feel?
- if I am weak and lazy, or do I simply fear to risk (because I may fail)
- what comprises the sacred and valuable elements of life?
- what provides the ability to attain the levity which allows us to enjoy life?
- what it is within me that fuels my endless self-doubt and fears
- do all people ponder life and its mysteries?
8.11.09
some of my favorite things...
1. waking up in my bed at my parents' house, with abby hope in the room next to me
2. trips to Borders by myself on holiday evenings
3. the silence of snow
4. the sea on winter days...shades of gray, green, and pale blue
5. talking to my mom on the phone
6. new music...just lying on my bed, doing nothing but listening
7. snuggling with nephews/adopted nieces
8. pulling on a freshly-washed sweatshirt
9. piecing together the things i like about you
10. my nephews calling me "kiwi"
11. driving at night
12. the family picture taken on the stairs on Christmas Eve
13. being called carebear
14. summers at the lakehouse
15. aunt jan's back-rubs
16. good conversations with uncle rick
17. naps under a quilt at the farm
18. hands, all of them
19. how no matter where i go, i am always reminded of those i love
20. being surprised by beauty...
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