15.1.10

well who knows?


today I sat at a coffee shop about a 30 minute walk from my apartment, and I proceeded to write a list of things which I don't understand. not things like "astrophysics", but more along the lines of life's mysteries. that is probably not surprising to those of you who know me best; I am never quite contented to leave things unquestioned.

so here goes...things which I don't understand:

  • why some dear friends lost their child
  • why hatred and animosity reign between populations that hardly know each other
  • the end of the world, and how things could possibly be resolved
  • the reasons for which life is at once futile and eternally meaningful
  • the workings of time
  • what happened to their marriage?
  • how other people see me
  • that there seems to be an unlimited supply of beauty in the world
  • that God saw it good to create human beings, thought we have a tremendous propensity for good and evil
  • why humans can recognize God's attributes, arrange an understanding, and still be lost
  • the working of God among men, how marvelous a mystery
  • why we, as humans, hurt those we love most
  • what leads to relational despair and bitterness
  • why did you settle?
  • why God created me the way He did...can I separate the pain of those I love from becoming my own?
  • how we are to be set free from cycles of strife? why some people make it out and others don't
  • how can we find understanding of systems and experiences that all converge to make us who we are and what we think and feel?
  • if I am weak and lazy, or do I simply fear to risk (because I may fail)
  • what comprises the sacred and valuable elements of life?
  • what provides the ability to attain the levity which allows us to enjoy life?
  • what it is within me that fuels my endless self-doubt and fears
  • do all people ponder life and its mysteries?
on that note, my apologies for being a poor blogger! perhaps in my next life, ha.