maybe you could say a prayer for me around dinner time (stateside) this summer? tonight is my first night alone in the apartment...emily has packed up her things and will fly out tomorrow morning. there is a lot going through my head and heart these days, and i would really covet your prayers during the evening hours.
i have lived alone for one summer before, but it sure feels different being in another country and living alone. lots of tears. like crying in the shower the other day when i realized i can't get a sunburn on my back anymore because no one is around to put lotion on afterward. silly, painful thoughts like that.
the Father is gracious, abounding in mercy. His plans for me are good. Pai, please be the Joy of my heart this summer.
(from shore)
24.6.09
14.5.09
where lies your beauty?
During my time in Portugal, I have been contemplating the type of beauty that our western culture values. Particularly, what our society deems necessary for feminine beauty. Is it long hair, high heels, painted nails, perfectly applied make-up, a skinny body, just enough skin showing, hair color, unique clothing, jewelry?? What confuses me more is the way that we, women with intelligent minds and good intentions, spend thousands of dollars/euros attempting "to be beautiful".
"Perhaps we are being driven toward goals and objectives without always understanding why. Or we may not be aware of the real cost to our minds, our bodies, and, of course, our hearts."-Ordering Your Private World
I have been looking through some sources on concepts of beauty, and I find very little evidence that it is outward adornment that captures the essence of what it means to be feminine and beautiful. This is not to say that I think it is wrong to wear make-up or look to buy a new pair of heels. But maybe it is time for us to take a step back, to assess in which things we place our treasure. What treasures have we that hold eternal value?
I Peter 3.3-4 "Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear— but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious."
How much time do we spend seeking after a quiet spirit, one which is not shaken by the trials of each day? Is our inner space given more importance than the persona we want to project?
Some principles from Proverbs 31...A woman who fears the Lord is trustworthy, hard-working, caring, wise, strong, generous, compassionate, kind...strength and dignity are her clothing. She is a truly beautiful woman.
When Solomon spoke of his love's beauty, he spoke of her physical form, the shape of her cheeks and the tower of her neck, and her eyes as doves...captivating his heart. The Artist shaped our every part, calling our form beautiful and complete. What can be added to a masterpiece?
From Anne Morrow Lindbergh's Gift from the Sea we find: "I want first of all...to be at peace with myself. I want a singleness of eye, a purity of intention, a central core to my life." And to our dismay, "for the most part, we, who could choose simplicity, choose complication." But what if we were to transform our inner being? "Is your sea-shell house not ugly and bare? No, it is beautiful, my house. It is bare, of course, but the wind, the sun, the smell of the pines blow through its bareness."
And lastly, words written from a father to a daughter. John Quincy Adams wrote "Think of no other greatness but that of the soul, no other riches but those of the heart."
(to all my wonderful friends, who seek to cultivate the indescribable beauty growing within.)
16.3.09
the beauty in a name...
Wake up, go for a run, quickly shower and get ready, make sure I have my keys and my transportation pass, walk quickly to the train station, find a seat near the window, and WAIT for the Spirit to speak. Sometimes I am terrible about waiting for His quiet words...I put in my ipod or race through my homework. But when I actually stop, He shows me some magnificent things.
1) All beauty is a gift from Him, a reflection of His very nature. He makes all things new, He blesses the fruit in its season. He removes the scales from our eyes, to see the value in all that is His.
"Surely man is like the flower of the field,
And life is but a vapor, at best but a vapor.
But you O God, are better than a thousand blooms." -Misty Edwards
2) The days I am most joyful are always gifts from Him. Tuesdays are often very long days for me...sometimes I make it to 6pm, exhausted before C. Surfers even begins. I sprint from the classroom to the metro to the train, arriving in Cascais in time to help very little with set-up. And yet I am finding that He has other plans for me. He fills. It is like the great, white sailboats out on the river, that once again begin to glide through the water as twilights draws near. I am filled with a second wind, knowing its origin is not from within. Psalm 28.7
The LORD is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in him, and I am helped. My heart leaps for joy and I will give thanks to him in song.
3) He cherishes His creation. The wildflowers that bloom along the train tracks, the single red bloom among white daisies. The surfers that dance on the water under a bright orange sky. The secluded sea inlet where His heart beats. The careful formed bodies that step in time with His musical creation. Psalm 147.9-11
He gives to the beasts their food,
and to the young ravens that cry.
His delight is not in the strength of the horse,
nor his pleasure in the legs of a man,
but the LORD takes pleasure in those who fear him,
in those who hope in his steadfast love.
1) All beauty is a gift from Him, a reflection of His very nature. He makes all things new, He blesses the fruit in its season. He removes the scales from our eyes, to see the value in all that is His.
"Surely man is like the flower of the field,
And life is but a vapor, at best but a vapor.
But you O God, are better than a thousand blooms." -Misty Edwards
2) The days I am most joyful are always gifts from Him. Tuesdays are often very long days for me...sometimes I make it to 6pm, exhausted before C. Surfers even begins. I sprint from the classroom to the metro to the train, arriving in Cascais in time to help very little with set-up. And yet I am finding that He has other plans for me. He fills. It is like the great, white sailboats out on the river, that once again begin to glide through the water as twilights draws near. I am filled with a second wind, knowing its origin is not from within. Psalm 28.7
The LORD is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in him, and I am helped. My heart leaps for joy and I will give thanks to him in song.
3) He cherishes His creation. The wildflowers that bloom along the train tracks, the single red bloom among white daisies. The surfers that dance on the water under a bright orange sky. The secluded sea inlet where His heart beats. The careful formed bodies that step in time with His musical creation. Psalm 147.9-11
He gives to the beasts their food,
and to the young ravens that cry.
His delight is not in the strength of the horse,
nor his pleasure in the legs of a man,
but the LORD takes pleasure in those who fear him,
in those who hope in his steadfast love.
4) What place have I to call His creation imperfect? For He himself formed my body in the womb, shaping my hands, nose, hips, cheeks. To understand the creation, I must look to the artist. What beauty does He see in the form He has made? What name has He given me? He has given me the name "Caroline" or "Carrie", which means little, womanly, beautiful woman, beautiful song, joyful. I am no longer able to call this earthly form He has given me "feia", because the Artist himself delights in His creation. He has called me His child, an heir immortal.
What beauty will He show you today? From whence comes the wind in your sails, your joy in being? What names has He given you?
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