"Stop worrying."
As some of you may know, I am in the home stretch of my time in North Carolina. This fall I will be taking my last 9 hours of coursework at the seminary (hallelujah!). And after thaaaat, who knows? Every time I try to devise some sort of plan, I literally can't nail anything down. So I'm going to need to re-learn what it means to trust God. It just so happens that this time I'm trusting him with ev-er-y-thing: location, insurance, apartment, job, schooling, church, friends, finances, etc. That's right, it's all going to change.
(from shore)
4.7.12
23.6.12
recent topics...
1. John Mayer may certainly believe his "shadow days are over," but I personally appreciate his inner bad-ace attitude...and I find it more believable. Gracias, John, for this new song. It ranks right up there with Heartbreak Warfare.
2. Everyone has differing opinions regarding how to talk about sex. This week my Marital/Premarital Counseling course opted for the extremely-uncomfortable-euphemisms-route, and boy, what a strange choice. I tend to think that, at least in the academic environment, it is 100% more appropriate to use proper terminology. But that's me. If you prefer to "tend your garden," okayyy Solomon, have at it.
3. Yesterday the skies threatened to storm all afternoon. When I got home from class, I promptly put on my play-in-the-rain attire, and waited. For two hours. The sky was billowy and grey, which reminded me of standing on Portugal's beaches in the rain. Breathtaking. After two hours of summoning the rain, I gave up, came inside, and cleaned up. The icing on the cake: I got to watch my roomie play church softball in the rain last night. It was such a refreshing way to end the week. (insert long train of thought about missing daily life outdoors)
4. My 26th birthday is coming up, and I have waited my entire life for it! In 2nd grade, my teacher Mrs. Paul told us about "golden birthdays," which means the birthday on which you turn the same age as your birth-date. Even though I've been waiting my whole life to turn 26, I have no idea how I am going to celebrate the big day. I've honestly never been too concerned about birthdays, but this year I hope to do something exciting! Suggestions?
2. Everyone has differing opinions regarding how to talk about sex. This week my Marital/Premarital Counseling course opted for the extremely-uncomfortable-euphemisms-route, and boy, what a strange choice. I tend to think that, at least in the academic environment, it is 100% more appropriate to use proper terminology. But that's me. If you prefer to "tend your garden," okayyy Solomon, have at it.
3. Yesterday the skies threatened to storm all afternoon. When I got home from class, I promptly put on my play-in-the-rain attire, and waited. For two hours. The sky was billowy and grey, which reminded me of standing on Portugal's beaches in the rain. Breathtaking. After two hours of summoning the rain, I gave up, came inside, and cleaned up. The icing on the cake: I got to watch my roomie play church softball in the rain last night. It was such a refreshing way to end the week. (insert long train of thought about missing daily life outdoors)
4. My 26th birthday is coming up, and I have waited my entire life for it! In 2nd grade, my teacher Mrs. Paul told us about "golden birthdays," which means the birthday on which you turn the same age as your birth-date. Even though I've been waiting my whole life to turn 26, I have no idea how I am going to celebrate the big day. I've honestly never been too concerned about birthdays, but this year I hope to do something exciting! Suggestions?
8.6.12
breaking the silence...part III
Prior to this new understanding of God's grace in my life, I approached religion and the Christian lifestyle with misdirected attitudes. I considered biblical principles to be rules, and my failure to comply slapped a 2" by 6" piece of duct tape on my forehead: "UNWORTHY." My inability to get myself together fueled a constant fear of making mistakes and being exposed as the imposter among truly holy individuals.
My fear of failure and discouragement often silenced my desires to speak about Christ, take risks, or attempt new endeavors. Frequently I would avoid doing good things because I did not want to be hypocritical. Others may not have noticed any hypocrisy, but in my heart I felt the dichotomous nature between who I was (messed up) and who I wanted to be (a Christ-follower).
But the Gospel changes everything. Literally, E-V-E-R-Y-T-H-I-N-G. My pastor uses four points to guide the prayers of Summit church members. As these tenants have gradually permeated my heart, I've begun to believe them. The result: freedom and joy. Freedom to live and love unhindered by my own, blatant shortcomings. Joy to celebrate this life in Him. Christ is sufficient and abundant in me.
1. In Christ, there is nothing I could do to make You love me more; nothing I have done that makes You love me less.
2. You are all I need today for everlasting joy.
3. As You have been to me, so I will be to others.
4. As I pray, I'll measure Your compassion by the cross and Your power by the resurrection.
About three months ago, I was standing in a worship service at Summit and experienced something beyond my wildest dreams. For most of my life, I was painfully aware of my sin and doubt during worship. But on that evening, I realized God had caused my heart to truly rejoice in liberty and His grace. I felt a joy in my heart unlike any I had felt before. I know this joy is abiding, unshakeable, and able to cast off the gloom of my first nature. I praise my Savior for doing the impossible in my life: ushering in joyfulness by impacting the very core of my need.
I entitled this series "Breaking the Silence" because of a song I found recently that seems to express my experience over these last two years. The chorus, in particular, conveys my hopelessness turned into worship, by the grace of God.
Chorus of "Wonderful" by Christy Nockels
And my life will burn for you,
Because your light shined in the darkness,
I was hopeless, and you lifted up my head
To sing for joy,
With a song that broke the silence of my worship,
Now I'm singing all the day
And forevermore, you will be adored,
'Cause you are wonderful.
>There have been a number of individuals who have walked beside me these last two years, to which I owe a lifetime of thanks:
Hannah and Mark: for forgiveness and grace
Gabri: for processing through my sorrow and joy
Bobby and Allison: for inviting me to participate in true community
Carole: for teaching me life is not so serious afterall
Justin: for friendship saturated in forgiveness and understanding
Mitch and Allyson: for seeing the changes in me
My fear of failure and discouragement often silenced my desires to speak about Christ, take risks, or attempt new endeavors. Frequently I would avoid doing good things because I did not want to be hypocritical. Others may not have noticed any hypocrisy, but in my heart I felt the dichotomous nature between who I was (messed up) and who I wanted to be (a Christ-follower).
But the Gospel changes everything. Literally, E-V-E-R-Y-T-H-I-N-G. My pastor uses four points to guide the prayers of Summit church members. As these tenants have gradually permeated my heart, I've begun to believe them. The result: freedom and joy. Freedom to live and love unhindered by my own, blatant shortcomings. Joy to celebrate this life in Him. Christ is sufficient and abundant in me.
1. In Christ, there is nothing I could do to make You love me more; nothing I have done that makes You love me less.
2. You are all I need today for everlasting joy.
3. As You have been to me, so I will be to others.
4. As I pray, I'll measure Your compassion by the cross and Your power by the resurrection.
About three months ago, I was standing in a worship service at Summit and experienced something beyond my wildest dreams. For most of my life, I was painfully aware of my sin and doubt during worship. But on that evening, I realized God had caused my heart to truly rejoice in liberty and His grace. I felt a joy in my heart unlike any I had felt before. I know this joy is abiding, unshakeable, and able to cast off the gloom of my first nature. I praise my Savior for doing the impossible in my life: ushering in joyfulness by impacting the very core of my need.
I entitled this series "Breaking the Silence" because of a song I found recently that seems to express my experience over these last two years. The chorus, in particular, conveys my hopelessness turned into worship, by the grace of God.
Chorus of "Wonderful" by Christy Nockels
And my life will burn for you,
Because your light shined in the darkness,
I was hopeless, and you lifted up my head
To sing for joy,
With a song that broke the silence of my worship,
Now I'm singing all the day
And forevermore, you will be adored,
'Cause you are wonderful.
>There have been a number of individuals who have walked beside me these last two years, to which I owe a lifetime of thanks:
Hannah and Mark: for forgiveness and grace
Gabri: for processing through my sorrow and joy
Bobby and Allison: for inviting me to participate in true community
Carole: for teaching me life is not so serious afterall
Justin: for friendship saturated in forgiveness and understanding
Mitch and Allyson: for seeing the changes in me
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